Daddy Tactics on Airport Survival
Manila airport. Manila airport. Manila airport.
Today was like a pooped out day for me at the airport. LInes were like the F4 concert but hungrier and heavier. and when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. It was time to try daddy tactics ( with some of my adaptation) of airport survival.
First hurdle was going inside the airport. Fortunately, there was a gap in the line that stretched from hereon to andalusia. I quickly ran to the girl whose dad was forcing his kids bags in that gap saying that her flight was to bacolod ( almost boarding! ). Station self behind girl and became miss chatty. Miss magisa ka lang? First time mo? ( obviously so since his dad waved goodbye twice and kept returning for last minute reminders) Sama nalang tayo.
Once inside, i had to ditch her since her baggages were too heavy for me to wait. Gauging from the intense lines… this was time for tactic two.
Get the shortest line. Who cares where it says it goes. All terminals are online anyway. Saw a counter that said TAGBILARAN. OUR COMPUTERS OFFLINE and decided to fall in line with the solitary person talking to the check in lady. I see her giving him boarding passes. Ha! the sign is a scam but im too smart for that. Unfortunately people started falling in line behind me… asking me tagbilaran? tagbilaran to? And then the check in lady started shouting Tagbilaran Final Call. ( it was like 10 minutes before boarding) and in that split second, Everyone behind me raced to the checkout lady like it was their last meal ticket. my petite bones almost got crushed by the stampeding herd and their 10 kilo luggages amidst screams of TAGBILARAN AKO!!!
Since im not good with crowd control and stampedes, i lost the battle but was still in the war. It is time to do Next Daddy Tactic…. Barter! it was a day trip for me, so i can offer my 20k luggage allowance for that place in line. “pssstttt Miss.. overweight kayo? I can give you my baggage allowance.” i said waiving my ticket seductively while her eyes followed it like a hawk to a mouse. ( watch the eyes.- u you get that suspicious squint because they think you will inconvenience them and then realization dawns and then they get that greedy glaze that says ooohh will put one over the airline company look) A freebie is too good to waste. And yes i was in.
third hurdle- The terminal fee. The lines at the terminal fee is always weird. Three lines that goes abnormally to 6 because people dont know if the lines become blurred with the checkin counter lines. Unlike my dad who just offers to pay fee of the next person in line, i am small enough to squeeze self in anyline. ( my special talent! ) plus im too cheap to pay for someones terminal fee. . Just get exact bills ready coz when in a face off.. the person always gets the one with exact change.
And then the xrays. I hate xrays. Mainly because i have to remove shoes and walk on dirty ugly floor. Sometimes i get past it if i pretend i didnt hear. But most of the time, i just stand on tippytoes and wipe it with alchohol and kleenex after.
And last butnot least- the waiting area. JamPACKED… practically not a chair in sight.Im half tempted to actially declare i neeed a wheelchair so i can have at least a decent place to park self. If im rude, i can shove the bags people use as “SAVE” and sit on it actually. but i dont do that. So i just wait…. and wait… and wait…
**ps. i wasnt exactly mean. after getting boarding pass, I went back to help the kid mainly because I remembered my first trip alone as a minor. it was pleasant. My mom accompanied me to the check in and The pretty PAL stewardess even gave me a pin that says. HI! IM _____. And IM __________ yrs OLD.
* pss. oooh dont forget to barter with someone of the same flight. Otherwise, you might end up with a one way boarding pass to Basilan.
